Staying mad at someone indicates that you care enough about them to waste energy over them. Being indifferent about them is that thin line where you kind of just realize that they really aren’t worth thinking about, much less worrying about and wasting energy over.
To say that I’ve become indifferent about someone may sound harsh, maybe even heartless, but when it boils down to senior year and finally leaving California with fresh start, wanting to erase all the bad memories that have accompanied certain phases of high school, it’s really just like a memory foam pillow: even though it will morph back into its original shape, a part of it still remembers where you laid the night before, never really forgetting even if it is physically fine and normal.
It is a choice to remember more of the good memories than the bad ones, but sometimes the choice is not always controllable. As much as I want to move on and forget about all of the anger and what made me so upset in the first place, when it comes down to it, I can try and try and try, but it will still remain.
But with time, anger has become indifference. I don’t care whether I see you anymore because when I do, it’s like seeing a stranger’s face. I may smile, but for the most part, I won’t take any particular notice because whatever we were, friends or not, we are no longer that now.
Am I too cold, too harsh, too brutal in my words and actions? Should I be the bigger person and try and work things out again, even though I feel that I’ve given you too many tries and that you’ve exhausted all your chances? Or should I carry on as I do now, acting like our friendship is an extinguished fire, one that I’m glad has been put out?