The Relationship Builder: Secrets

You confide in people you trust, you tell them your deepest, darkest secrets, and through that, you build your relationship further. But let’s go back to the beginning of it all, before you told them your secret.


You don’t simply tell people you think are going to blab your secret out to the world your most confidential thoughts. In a relationship where you are ready to confide in someone with your musings, you already have a relationship built with them. For instance, I’m not just going to walk up to some random man on the subway and tell him that I have this huge crush on (insert name here) and he is so dreamy! Mostly because there aren’t subways where I’m from, but also because I have no connection to that man. In more cases than none, you typically tell your secret to someone you have a very strong relationship with. In the same way that you don’t share your political standing with a lot of people, secrets and meant to be secrets for a reason–if the spill, people question it, people patronize it, and people’s feelings get hurt.

If you promise to carry someone’s secret to the grave and (drum roll) actually do it, your relationship automatically becomes five bajillion times stronger, simply because it shows that you respect that person’s wishes and views and do not feel the need to share it with the rest of the world.

Double Standards


Well Bobby, that is a very good question. Why does the double standard exist? The age-old belief that men are more capable and more intelligent has cleared the way for centuries of sexism. Even now, in an era of rights for all, that old belief still rings. 
Many people would argue that sexism does not exist anymore, that it is some long-ago myth created, but we hear phrases today such as “You punch like a girl!” or “But he’s a guy!” 

The way I see it, we were all created equal and we each have our own contribution to the world, so i find it completely unnecessary to have this double standard. Especially now, in high school, I know that there is this double standard in relationships. Guys are expected to get more out of the relationship, even if the girl gets called names when she gives the guy what he wants. Double standards drive me insane, and I can’t help but get angry and stick up to them every time someone decides to use a phrase that encompasses it. 

Down with the double standard! 


Life is a Game, and We Play to Win

“Life’s a game, boy.”
Truer statements have been said, but they don’t make this one any less true. Sometimes, life is a basketball game–fast-paced, heart-pumping, adrenaline-filled, and other times, life is a game of golf–slow, relaxing, cruising.


No matter what game it is, you play to enjoy yourself, and you play to win. No one wants to fail in life, and guess what? No one has to. Just because you lose one game doesn’t mean you’ll lose them all. While they were with USC, Hank Gathers and Bo Kimble didn’t score like they wanted to, didn’t play like they knew they could. With little adjustments in the game and under Paul Westhead, they played like never before–they shined, they soared, they achieved.

With your own life, just because you lost one thing, just because you didn’t achieve one thing, doesn’t mean anything. You can make a comeback, you can catch that rebound and bring yourself back in the game. Some fouls may be caught, while others may slip the ref’s eyes, but as long as you’re living your life and playing the game to your heart’s fullest, those minor mistakes and those minor problems that arise can’t bring you down.

Play the game, love the game.